Be Present

Since I have been living alone, there has been the parts that I really enjoy like having the heating on as much as I like, watching what I like on the TV and not having anyone to nag at me and then come some parts which can get a little lonely. Don’t get me wrong I like my own company, I enjoy writing, listening to music and laying in bed!!

So it’s a Saturday, I got up, cleaned the house, walked over to the supermarket to pick up some food, came back and then headed off to the train station to go over to football. On my walk to the station it hit me, it’s 1pm and I haven’t spoken a word aloud, not even a hello at the supermarket, I used the self checkout, the most communication I have had is asking Alexa to play Heart FM.

It got me thinking about the effects that loneliness can have on mental health, I personally do not consider myself to be a lonely person, I am lucky enough to have a big loving family, some close friends yet it will be gone 2pm before I actually speak a word aloud. The black dog wants you to feel that loneliness, it wants you to isolate yourself from others, but what if there are people out there who are struggling with mental health or of the older generation and don’t have anyone to regularly communicate with. It opened my eyes, even though we do live in a world that is filled with so many people, there will be some that don’t have anyone to turn too and what a negative effect that must have on their mental health.

Everywhere you turn nowadays people are looking down, glued to their phones, not raising their heads and looking at what is right in front of them. You go to a restaurant and people aren’t talking to eachother, a concert nobody is watching it with their eyes but through a screen, you can sit opposite a person yet don’t feel that they are present with you. Have we forgotten how to speak to each other? To interact with each other? To live in the moment?

I think everyone can be a little guilty or has been a little guilty of flicking through social media, reading an email or replying to a message when you are in the company of others, it might seem harmless at the time but if someone is trying to communicate it can be seen as rejection or like they are not important to you. But try and remember that social media, that email or message will still be there in 10 minutes time but being present and paying attention to the person standing/sitting in front of you, that has a lower time limit.

One of my favourite things about therapy is having 50 minutes of time away from the busyness of everyday life and reflecting on things that you might not otherwise think or speak about. Spending time with family and friends are important, raise your head and communicate with them, go for a coffee and chat, go for a walk and be present, listen to each other.

I have applied to be a volunteer with independent age so for 1-2 hours a fortnight I can spend time having a tea and chat with people who may not otherwise get to see or speak to anyone for days at a time.